The ego is a very powerful tool within our society. The whole model is used and pushed very well and has been for 1000s of years. Since history was recorded, the biggest egos of the planet have ruled it for their own personal gain and still now today that is exactly what is happening. The ego wants the big flash car and the two holiday's and the big house. The heart only wants to be happy.
I dont know about you but I would be happy enough once I had my family around me. Thats the important parts that most of us forget until we are old and our family has grown up and moved on to start their own family. Its amazing how we creatures of desire allow ourselves to be operated by a system built on greed.
Over the past number of weeks and months indeed, Ive been slowly coming to a realisation. Our own desire and greed indeed for our lifestyles is fueled completely by ego. We are all romantic on some level, and always hear close ones saying "follow your heart", but we never do! We follow our ego, all the way!! The heart is involved in feeling love, but the ego is involved in feeling hate or resentment. Once the heart falls in love, it never falls out of it!!
So with this realisation I decided I wanted to do some ego work. Without actually thinking too much about it I just started working on some painful memories and the ego work just seemed to evolve as a knock on effect. It came on very strong and truly was by far the most amazingly beautiful, powerful work I have ever done and also terrifying, although it doesn't have to be that way. I had no idea that the memories I was trying to come to terms with were the very experiences that my relationship ego was built upon. So therefore I was not prepared for what was coming as a result of breaking through.
I actually felt like I was dieing. I had to push my whole being to force myself to let go of the pain, so much so that my ego couldn't hold on to it any longer. So as a last attempt to save itself my ego knocked me out. Haha what a bloody experience!! I will keep the full details of this ego death for my book of course 😊.
The ego is an amazingly powerful thing. The fear I felt during that experience was terrifying. I wasn't dieing of course, I was letting go of what had been making my decisions for me for the past number of years. That level of control wasn't going to be given up without a fight. So now I know there is an easier way. There is still a lot of very hard work involved, but no dramatics at the end and nobody dies, mentally, emotionally or actually hahaha, we just let go!
This picture inset was taken four days after my relationship ego death. I was receiving a beautiful flower bath from a friend. The smell of the flowers was amazing and just captivated me entirely. Haha I wasn't even aware that another friend was there taking a picture of it hahaha. I am glad he did though. He cought a moment of complete and total freedom in me that I wouldn't have otherwise seen from the outside. I sure was feeling it though hahaha and thanks to this friend I will be able to tap into that memory whenever I want to. So thankyou G-Man for that shot 😊.
Embrace your fears
Let go of what doesn't serve you
And Be Free
